Review: OF THE CITY OF THE SAVED...

Spin-off Faction Paradox novel by Philip Purser-Hallard, 2004

It might be uncharitable to note that I read crashingly mundane ‘filler’ NA White Darkness prior to Of the City of the Saved..., which could be seen as doing Purser-Hallard an enormous favour. But, to be honest, he doesn’t need it. Of the City of the Saved... is a fantastic novel. And I use the word novel strategically – the density of information and imagination it contains is comparable to Michael Chabon’s The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, or Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. In other words, the book is considerably more of a literary achievement than the majority of Doctor Who related books.

In fact, it seems rather tragic that, arguably being part of a niche within a niche, so few people relatively speaking will come to read it. I’m a real fan of the Faction Paradox novels, not least because they derive from Lawrence Miles’ creations, but they’re also of an unfeasibly high quality; Erasing Sherlock, Warring States, and Daniel O’Mahony’s Newtons Sleep (sic) all have quite a lot more going for them than the majority of the concurrent BBC Doctor Who ‘proper’ novels. I have no idea how widely-read or well-received these books have been within fandom, but they are completely worth checking them out; I believe you can buy them from the publisher's website.

In its sheer invention, this book threatens to out-Miles Lawrence, as well as having much in common with the wittier style of Miles’ earlier books like (the equally ace) Christmas on a Rational Planet and Alien Bodies – a sense of humour defuses the potential for the novel to become mired in its own creativity, and enhances rather than defuses enjoyment of the book. The City itself is such an endlessly fascinating concept, with a level of information constantly maintained that I at least found fascinating and highly enjoyable (although I realise this could have easily become self-indulgent). The experience of reading this book is enormously compulsive, so I finished it in little over two days; compare and contrast with the equivalent enjoyment derived from Miles' magnum opus, Interference.

One of the most satisfying aspects of the novel was its great numbers of twists – several of which served as red herrings – the majority of which, satisfyingly, I had in no way predicted, the bombardment of general information being somewhat helpful to the whodunit set-up. If there are ever further series of more adult-oriented Doctor Who books than the BBC’s current output, I’d love to see Purser-Hallard’s name on one of the spines – or, in fact (why not?) as part of the current range. The couple of explicitly Doctor Who-related references that I noticed (to the series, as opposed to the EDAs) – the half-Androgum cook, and the appearance of a Mechanoid in the attack at the end – suggest something of an abiding love for the series, so the BBC could do far worse than commission PP-H.

The sheer amount of information, though undoubtedly one of the novel’s strongest points, and part of its uniqueness, is something of a double-edged sword in that it does impact slightly negatively on the novel’s characters. Which is not to say that they aren’t likeable, etc, but does perhaps hold the novel back from absolute greatness. Nevertheless, it’s definitely up there with the best of Doctor Who fiction, and I recommend it wholeheartedly, although any fans of White Darkness out there might want to locate something with a little less originality.

"By the all-beating heart of living Atlantis!"

Review: THE UNDERWATER MENACE
Audio soundtrack of incomplete story, written by Geoffrey Orme, directed by Julia Smith, 1967

The vilification of this story says a lot about DW fandom’s humourlessness; it’s a blast. Obviously it’s also shite, but to see it purely in that way misses the point that there’s absolutely nothing offensive here, and certainly nothing to justify it as contender for ‘Worst. Story. Ever’. I really would take this absurd comic book runaround over dreary stories like The Three Doctors, The Face of Evil, Planet of Fire – which nevertheless, have perfectly serviceable reputations. The fact that this essentially harmless piece of fluff is singled out as especially dreadful does at least show how extreme its excesses are – but even this is in its favour, as far as I’m concerned; by comparison, all those other stories are too mediocre to even bother hating.

What to say, then? The Underwater Menace is FUN. That about covers it. It’s set in ATLANTIS, for god’s sake – that’s absurd enough to get me on side for starters, but it gets better: the bushy eyebrows! Why? Never mind, here come the crap stereotypes, psychotic music, and gypsy Doctor! (I love how rascally Troughton looks when he leaves his piratical gold hoop on.) All this AND Ben in rubber!

Even the eternally derided Joseph Furst’s Zaroff is fantastic value for money, and at least his utter, overblown lunacy is acknowledged within the story. The moment when the king gives him a look that says, ‘You’re nuts!’, but just says, “Oh, nothing…” is priceless. Zaroff even kills people with harpoons – somebody bring this guy back! All his overblown dialogue is fab (pointedly ignoring ‘that’ line. Though not that well, obviously), but the Zaroff scene that tickled me most was when someone declaims the line, “May the wrath of Amdo engulf you!” at him, but he replies with a contemptuously dismissive, “I’ll take my chances – get out!”. I think it’s the smug self-confidence of his lunacy that makes him so entertaining… In that respect he’s a surprisingly effective flipside to the Doctor.

The general po-faced response to a story which so clearly doesn’t warrant (any) deep analytic study is just depressing – Patrick Mulkern, on the Radio Times’ episode guide page, describes it as "camp bilge," although he at least acknowledges the enjoyable sight of “fit duo Michael Craze and Frazer Hines cavorting around in tight wetsuits”. Everyone always bangs on about how Doctor Who is all about diversity – and, yes; it should be – so the assumption that this is automatically crap or ‘worthless,’ just because it’s a lightweight story strikes me as slightly ridiculous. It’s not so much a case of this being crap, just that it goes into a tongue-in-cheek area of B-movie absurdities, more so than is the norm in Doctor Who – whereas, say, Frontier in Space or Earthshock try to be ‘better’ than that (ie, slightly less hackneyed), but they end up worse because they’re flat and tedious (in my personal opinion, but you get the point).

Tsk. All I wanted to say was how unexpectedly enjoyable this story is (particularly the existing episode three). How grim that I’ve felt the need to justify such an inconsequential opinion to death! That took the fun out of things. Maybe I’ll go and watch it again.

"Sarah Jane Smith – still involving children in your dangerous games!"

Review: THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES, SERIES 2
CBBC spin-off series, 2008

It feels slightly unfair judging SJA on adult terms – but, at the same time, it clearly does cater for a wide audience, despite the limitations of its format, so why not. Though not a rabid follower of all things new series, I am surprisingly fond of this spin-off – certainly more so than Torchwood, which was almost incomprehensibly awful in every way, at least up until Children of Earth. (I was apparently mistaken in thinking an ‘adult’ Doctor Who spin-off would address similar stories with a greater degree of complexity, realism and maturity – akin to season twenty-six – rather than being Doctor Who’s deformed cousin.)

Favourably comparing SJA to Torchwood is something of a backhanded complement, but let’s say that despite being as twee as fuck, it is considerably more mature and likeable a series, and leave it there.

Lis Sladen is of course wonderful – although the extremity of her Doctor-/Captain Jack-like knowledge seems a little odd or inappropriate at times; yes, she travelled with the Doctor, but even given her subsequent involvement with aliens on earth, what did she do, take notes?! It would be more interesting were she slightly less assured in this respect – but then I suppose that would simply lead to her having to consult Mr Smith even more, and the less we see of that mobile disco, the better. I’m not entirely sold on Luke, either. Fortunately though, he’s the only one of Sarah’s adolescent posse who really feels like ‘a child actor’.

Clyde, on the other hand, is great (even though he should be massively annoying); in fact, having palmed Martha Jones off on Torchwood, could things go the other way, by having him become a companion? The male companion has only featured in the new series as aberrations like Adam, the unwilling Mickey and Doctor-equivalent Jack, but I reckon Clyde Langer could work (partly because he’s straight enough to forestall the redtops’ inevitable raised eyebrows about two men in the TARDIS).

Maria’s replacement, Rani (no relation), is perfectly likeable too; in fact, she seems more natural than Maria – but is slightly less interesting. Maria went against the grain in terms of leads – as established by the new series’ Rose/Martha/Donna – by seeming a bit art school, where the template established by the Davies companions is anything but.

The budget of this series is noticeably reduced: the first series gave us original monsters the Gorgon, Kudlak, and the Trickster (who everyone seems unfeasibly impressed by; a black-robed extradimensional evil being seems pretty bog-standard to me), whereas there are conspicuously no new creations in this entire series (Clyde’s dad with blue veins and obligatory freaky contacts doesn’t count). More generally, the effects (especially the CGI) don’t match up to the series’ ambition – which wouldn’t matter except they are so obviously trying to match Doctor Who’s, and falling short; a smaller focus might be beneficial in future. (Even the Black Archive looked all too obviously like an MFI warehouse, with the security to match.)

In fact, this series is generally weaker than the first. The Last Sontaran suffers from feeling unpleasantly nineties (all the computer hacking stuff – also, the radio telescope is even less realistic than The Android Invasion’s!), and away from the team’s usual stomping grounds, the story feels very thin, while Kaagh’s literal stomping got tiresome pretty quickly. (Incidentally, his name would be okay if it was pronounced as it’s written – ‘Kaah’ – but ‘Karg’ sounds unfortunately B-movie.)

Also – though this is more the fault of The Sontaran Stratagem – this story runs with the Sontarans’ reworking as noble warriors, with their hyperbolic suffixes and absurd war chant, which seems somewhat incompatible with their establishment in The Time Warrior as the ultimate parody of military buffoonery (spelt out during Lynx’s very first appearance by the brilliantly funny moment with the little flag). They’re meant to be unpleasant little thugs – nobility and honour shouldn’t come into it.

Also, the lack of any follow-up to the events of The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End is irritating; a) given the propensity of the three series to reference one another, this feels like a big oversight, and b), why go out of the way to constantly show alien incursions that are apparently too big for the public to avoid… and then instantly forget about them the next time the same thing happens.

Let’s see – obsessive-compulsive list coming up: in the new series alone, the public have been faced with large-scale alien activity in Aliens of London/World War Three, The Christmas Invasion, Army of Ghosts/Doomsday, The Runaway Bride, Voyage of the Damned (kind of), Partners in Crime, The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky, and the aforementioned series four finale. Oh, and guess who wrote EVERY SINGLE ONE of those stories (save one – and Helen Raynor doesn’t appear to have a personality so she doesn’t count). Tsk.

Normality is reset each time – which is understandable, but begs the question, why bother in the first place? Journey’s End combined three series, but with no repercussions, save a reference to "those Dalek things," and the Brigadier’s comment that "now the cat’s out of the bag about aliens…" – so what’s the point?

The Day of the Clown was pretty good, but suffered from over-explanation, which diffused its creepiness (that every single threat Sarah faces absolutely has to be alien, rather than something more nebulous, is gratingly literal), while this and the subsequent Secrets of the Stars both end with possessed people wandering around, as in The Christmas Invasion – an example of slightly lazy feeding off the parent series. In fact, these stories feel too similar for one to follow the other in the run – the main difference being that Bradley Walsh makes a perfectly serviceable villain, whereas (the equally washed-up) Russ Abbot is a bit shit.

The Mark of the Berserker didn’t do that much for me either – do we really need a Sarah-lite story in a run of six stories? In another example of the spin-off’s stringent following of the new series’ formula, this story in particular was hampered by the sledgehammer emotional content – although, arguably, it was a little more ambiguous and thus interesting that usual, in the interplay between Clyde and his hitherto unseen absentee father. (On a side note, isn’t Three Non Blondes’ Jocelyn Jee Esien fab? I sort of fell in love with her here; I’d rather she had a bigger role in the series than Rani’s dippy mum.)

The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, much like the previous season’s Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane? (incidentally – any kids’ show referring to that particular Bette Davis psychological melodrama is automatically a winner in my book), is the strongest story here because it tears up the rule book in terms of format, while its emotional content derives from the situation, rather than being bolted on.

As for Enemy of the Bane – I hate the mentality of throwing everything but the kitchen sink into finale stories, in the mistaken belief that it’ll mean more, so, much like its predecessors, this ended up feeling flimsy, lacking the preceding story’s more effortless epic quality.

The Brigadier’s triumphant return was a huge disappointment, simply because it wasn’t allowed to be triumphant. The man barely even talks to any of the regulars, let alone interacts with them to a significant degree! I fully realise that this is probably due to Nicolas Courtney’s advanced age, but it could have been no barrier to his involvement had the character been written with this in mind (rather than slashing his involvement because he wouldn’t be running around or dodging bullets); he’s barely even present! There’s certainly no character development, and his involvement here seems ultimately a rather thankless missed opportunity.

It would still be wonderful to see him return in a bona fide – and, preferably, character-driven – Doctor Who story, one that was actually concerned with the character beyond his being used as an end-of-season reveal.

On the plus side, his walking-stick gun was, it has to be said, kind of inspired. Given that, in his civvies, the character is deprived of the military background which defines him (to an extent, he is ‘just an old man’ here), it was canny to give him a memorable visual addition (akin to recognisable accoutrements like Sarah’s watch, sonic lipstick, and Nissan Figaro); a gimmick appropriate to a kids’ series, but which also goes some way to diffusing his potential quaintness.

I’m well aware my opinions here are more or less irrelevant – I have no doubt this series is wonderful for its primary target audience – but, still, it is worth watching for more than fanboy completism alone, though I do feel some of the limitations of the new series’ format which it replicates are exposed.

However – the fact that this series is as good as it is is quite a shocker. I need only direct your attention to the trailer for the Bob Baker K9 series to show how bad a children’s DW spin-off could be, appearing as it does to encapsulate everything tawdry and lazy about kids’ TV. ‘Darius, Starkey, and Jorjie’? When even the names don’t have any bearing on reality, you know you’re in trouble. And, rationalising the disparity between a London setting and Australian locations by saying it’s set ten years into a globally-warmed future – for the love of god, just SET IT IN AUSTRALIA. At least then the whole thing’d be comfortably out of the way.

"Beau Brummel always said I looked better in a cloak…"

ON THE DOCTORS' COSTUMES

I can’t say I’m desperately well-dressed, but I do like clothes, and therefore I like that the Doctor likes clothes. It’s unsurprising clothes are important to the character; given his variants, it’s natural that the outfits he wears define and differentiate his incarnations.

I’m not aware of any major discussion of the Doctors’ costumes, but as a visually-minded person I tend to notice elements of ‘visual continuity’ as much as I do the regular kind. It’s not ordinarily something I’d think about in a conscious way, but I can’t help inadvertently mentally cataloguing Hartnell’s different cravats or Colin’s waistcoats – it’s just part of the way my minds works, so it’s an aspect of the character I find interesting. What’s really got me thinking about clothes is Matt Smith’s costume. At first, I was immediately relieved that something old fashioned had been chosen (as opposed to, say, a ‘yoof’ hoodie uniform or regulation-trendy skinny jeans) – the Doctor’s costume has always been such a signifier of his unconventionality that I still feel cheated by Eccleston’s outfit.

Since it was initially revealed, it’s become more and more apparent how trendy Smith’s costume is – but I don’t think it really matters. It’s fashionable in terms of a specific Topman/i-D demographic, so in fact it’s quite clever of the production team to have smuggled in an ‘old fashioned’ costume under the auspices of what is currently fashionable. I imagine the ‘old fashionedness’ will outlast the trendiness; in future, people’ll probably only see its student/professor contrast, rather than the preppy/tweedy trends it’s derived from.

It is strange how very ‘on-trend’ it is; the All Saints work boots, the jacket, the bowtie – you can’t get away from models dressed exactly like that in every magazine going. In fact, when the costume was released, The Guardian (yes, yes, I’m such a bleeding heart liberal; it’s okay, I didn’t buy it) did a little satirical piece introduced with the line ‘Here is the latest Burberry model…,’ going on to cite the look’s overall trendiness – or rather, berate the costume designers for such blatant box-ticking, saying that the Doctor should be above such things (a concern I find pretty funny coming from a mainstream newspaper).

As I say, the costume will likely become so ubiquitous it’ll surpass the styles it’s mirroring (it already feels very familiar), though I am ambivalent about the decision to make it so close to current trends. (As opposed to, say, the Fifth Doctor’s outfit alluding to the 80s Brideshead thing, rather than completely lifting a style.) It does make it harder to judge objectively, too; I really like it, but is that partly because it’s fashionable, you’re exposed to similar things everywhere at the moment, so it just seems ‘right’? No matter, in purely DW terms, it works – the fusty tweediness, yes; the boots have a good strong Pertwee/Tom precedent, but, being laced, are also different enough, and give the whole thing a bit of edge, contrasting with the Troughton-like bowtie (sort of skinhead-cum-academian). Nice range of textures, too – presumably a high definition consideration, or am I reading too much into this?! Good to see something other than a white shirt, anyway. (Hilariously, The Sun (and, no, I definitely didn’t buy that) did an spread rather desperately trying to make out that the costume includes elements of every single of the previous Doctors’ outfits, including the Seventh Doctor’s white shirt (which is hardly a defining element of his look anyway)… Even though Smith’s is clearly not white in the picture they’d published. Ah, The Sun. Bastion of accuracy.)

I love the Doctors’ costumes, actually – all of them. I’m really pleased that the Eleventh Doctor’s been given a look – potential Hoxton wankerishness aside – that chimes with his predecessors’ eccentricities rather more than the Ninth or Tenth do. The way the Doctor dresses really does mean such a lot within the programme, as shorthand for his ‘otherness,’ not just as an alien, but as a TV hero. With the exception of the Ninth’s, each costume very plainly states that this isn’t a character who’s going to function in exactly the way you’d expect.

The First Doctor’s outfit is, rightly, the most straightforward, and, although it’s easy to consider them broadly similar (check trousers, black jacket) the Second’s is a deceptively clever variation on it. It manages to be an anarchic subversion of the original ‘Edwardian’ silhouette, whilst also maintaining enough continuity to not be alienating. Similarly, the Third Doctor’s initial, season seven costume is another fairly minor twist on the same basic approach (interesting though that Pertwee favoured a plain Nehru jacket) – still Edwardian, black jacket, just dressier, with the addition of an opera cape. Capes are fab; all kudos to Pertwee for pulling that look off. Especially in his later costumes, when he obviously had the run of the costume department, he should look awful (coloured ruffled shirts, velvet jackets, AND checked Inverness cloaks?!), but he does actually look pretty cool.

In fact, it’s impressive that somehow he avoids looking like a total ponce, perhaps because he’s often quite dour and plays the role very straight. I guess, to an extent, his style is akin to Matt Smith’s in that it chimes with general tendencies of the period – frills and velvet and so on. (At least he avoided flares.) I’m not sure about the bouffant (although at least it’s kind of unique and doesn’t date as readily as other contemporaneous 70s dos; the 70s did no-one any favours), but I’d like to be able to stride around like that when I’m 55. (Martial arts might also be a bonus, then.)

Of these costumes, it’s the little variations that I particularly like (something there’s been less and less of as the marketing of the show has become more controlled and canny); for example, I really like the white version of the First Doctor’s astrakhan hat, and his Panama, and he looks particularly great when he wears his cloak and little wire-framed glasses (like the Fifth and Tenth Doctors in their brainy specs). I must also be one of the few people who actually loves the Second Doctor’s early ‘stovepipe’ hat (or, more accurately, according to DWM, a Paris Beau, Capotain, or bird-catcher’s hat – not as catchy, though), partly because of its bizarreness, but probably also as it was so short-lived and only few picture exist of it (perhaps I’d be less keen if it had become totally ubiquitous). Even tiny variations like the Second Doctor’s fur coat or cloak, down to his woolly hat in Fury from the Deep, are representative of the series’ earlier off-the-cuff production, in a way that wouldn’t really happen later on.

The Fourth Doctor’s various costumes are odd, really, because no-one looks beyond his almost cartoon-like features, hat, and scarf; the costume itself just isn’t that defining – consider, no-one ever really describes him as being Victorian in appearance, even though during season thirteen, that’s exactly what his outfit is like. I’m not so keen on the initial short jacket, though I love his cardigan and straggling necktie. Baker’s costume is great in terms of its variability; it gives the character a richness, not to mention a realism, and, pleasingly, especially early on, really looks like he’s been raiding a charity shop. Lots of detail too – cravats, neckties, the TARDIS key as a pendant, high waisted trousers, different hats and coats. Lovely. I’m less keen on the simpler coat and open-necked shirt of seasons sixteen and seventeen, but the variation is nice.

I’m also a big fan (again, one of few?) of his stylised season eighteen look – interesting though that John Nathan-Turner initially wanted a completely new look; wonder what they were considering? It is fairly ridiculous – and take it as read that the question marks are hideous – but it works as a reinvention of an existing look. The massiveness of the Russian army-style greatcoat looks great on Tom (nice green patterned lining, too!), and the red shoes and argyle socks/burgundy boots is a nice variation.

The Fifth Doctor’s costume, on the other hand, I absolutely loathe, for a variety of reasons. More so even than the Sixth’s. It’s the first time a Doctor wears a single unchanging costume, which is just a terrible idea (at least Tennant’s, though essentially the same, has some variation). I’m not sold on the ‘sporting motif’ thing anyway (a polo outfit would’ve been better), but it’s so flimsy and badly made (especially those pyjama bottoms! And the jacket doesn’t even appear to be lined); the whole thing looks like a fancy dress version, not the real thing! Actually, having said that, purely from the point of view of the design, it works (in the DWM strip it’s quite effective). It’s just that in practise the red and beige is horrible, and as an Edwardian cricketing outfit, it’s so patently inaccurate; I hate that it’s someone’s contrived idea of that concept (a frock coat… with a cricket jumper), when they could have done some research and put him in a more believable jumper and stripy blazer combo. His Panama hat is quite good though – if underused. The high-waisted trousers, shirtsleeves and braces look of Planet of Fire is an improvement, too.

I really do think the Fifth Doctor’s outfit trumps the Sixth’s as worst ever. The Sixth's, I’ve come to like if you view it as a magician’s outfit, and in its brashness creates a nice tension with Colin Baker’s difficult persona. In fact, I like it more the more ridiculous it gets (ie, the starry necktie/metallic purple-striped waistcoat combo from Terror of the Vervoids). The problem with it, though a little more substantial-looking than its predecessor, is it’s so obviously a designed whole, like it was bought as an off-the-peg outfit. If it looked like various thrown-together items, that’d at least make more sense.

The other thing is that no-one ever reacts realistically to it. In a physical sense, there’s no reason why he couldn’t turn up in The Godfather or a kitchen sink kind of scenario in his patchwork coat – as long as people reacted realistically to it. Personally, I think that’d make it easier to swallow; as it is, with most incidental characters not even mentioning it, it damages suspension of belief – it feels like the show is being dishonest to us. Even if it happened everywhere he went (which actually couldn’t be a worse running gag than series four’s, ‘We’re not married!’), at least that’d add a veneer of realism, knowing that the people he meets are thinking the same as the audience. In fairness, it is probably true of all the Doctors’ outfits that people seldom react realistically to them, but this is most apparent when it comes to the Sixth. It does seem the production team realised it didn’t function in a realistic sense, but then shot themselves in the foot by trying to ignore that, rather than acknowledge it. (…His cloak in Revelation looks great though.)

I know a lot of people dislike the Seventh Doctor’s costume, too, but I have quite a soft spot for it, perhaps cos I find the pullover a lot easier to ignore than the shirt collar question marks (although, coincidentally, I did just come across a load of rehearsal photos from Ghost Light where McCoy is without the jumper and it does look a billion times better). It’s a bit too bright and light to start with, but I do like how genuinely dishevelled it is. Interesting too that it’s much later than any of the others – I wonder if this was commented on at the time? It’s quite thirties in style, and the tie, as opposed to cravat or bowtie, is quite modern. I read that it was meant to look normal from a distance and then stranger close up, which I think works – the paisley overload, lapel watch, etc. And how cool are the two-tone brogues? His TVM costume is interesting as a variation, though I agree with what McCoy said at the time about it being ‘an American idea of an English gentleman’. I prefer his white linen suit from the NAs though; it bugs me that we’ll never get to see that in real life. The godawful montaged effort on the cover of The Shadow of the Scourge audio doesn’t count.

As for the Eighth Doctor: there really isn’t much to say. A lazy Edwardian default, but made a bit Byronic, to mix in some sex appeal. Fine, whatever. The Ninth, however: as I say, I’m ambivalent. As a one-off, I like it for how unusual it is, I’m just glad it didn’t set a precedent. Now we’ve had a suited Doctor and are about to get a tweed-clad one at least the Ninth’s leather has become a variation rather than a new precedent for 'modern' Doctors’ outfits. It does sort of work – the hard-wearing traveller thing – but I just wish he wore a shirt or sailor jumper (and completed the U-boat captain look) rather than those horrible Next tops. I suppose at least they avoided the frock coat silhouette – unlike the TVM – which there has been far too much of up to this point, to the extent that it’s become a shorthand default for the Doctor’s eccentricity, and as such, stopped meaning anything (cf any spoof you care to mention, and David Morrissey’s ‘next’ Doctor outfit – which made it immediately apparent that he wasn’t a real Doctor, as it’s just too by-numbers).

The Tenth is a bit Next too. Bad times. I remember being so relieved when pictures of his costume were released, but now it does seem rather banal and safe – and not just through overexposure. Apart from anything else, the world and his wife wear Converse All-Stars! Probably up to and including Amazonian Indians. They just don’t have the hip edge they’re presumably meant to inject. Also, like the Fifth and Sixth Doctors’ it looks a bit too obviously run up by the costume department, rather than being a real tailored suit (and coat). The coat I kind of like, but is a bit too contrivedly ‘iconic’; long, for flapping in dramatic breezes, etc…

I don’t know quite what to feel about the blue suit either. I tend to like the atypical variations, so there’s something to be said for it for that reason, but – though it’s unusual, again that feels like a slightly cynical stab at automatic ‘Doctorishness’. It’s a bit too bright. In fact, Tennant’s just a bit too clean and perfect, really. Bit too modern. Especially his hair; trying a bit too hard to be cool. At least Smith’s hair is kind of inexplicable already, so it can’t really date. (On the subject of hair, Troughton wins hands-down for coolest do – though Hartnell’s wig is pretty inspired, as it’s the most atypical element of his costume as a whole.)

I sort of wish they’d made more of the ‘punk with a hint of rockabilly’ thing from Tooth and Claw, given the Tenth Doctor a bit more edge (what, Elvis quiff, signet rings, tattoos, eyeliner?). Having said that, his quiff in The Idiot’s Lantern looked a bit rubbish. Edginess isn’t something you could really say comes naturally to David Tennant.

So, what have we learnt? I’m not sure. But I enjoyed talking about it! While I’m at it, I always see costumes in films that make me think, Aha, that’d be great for a (hypothetical) Doctor: particularly Toshiro Mifune’s white suit and flat cap in Kurosawa’s Stray Dog; the short, 1930s wide-shouldered checked jackets from Brighton Rock; James Dean’s simple jumper and chinos with a watch on his trousers from East of Eden (which is strangely iconic); or even Paterson Joseph’s steampunk gentlemen from the BBC’s Neverwhere, with half-bleached and half-dreaded hair. That’d be a bit of a departure, but it’d be ace. Think of how many numerous options for doing something unprecedented there are. Better still, regenerate him into a woman and let the fun really begin!

"Leviathans there were, with dinner plate eyes..."

Review: VOYAGER
Collection of comics originally published 1984-85

I’m not generally into comic books/graphic novels, at all, really, although I am intrigued by their potential. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has its charms, but mainly the ones I have dipped into, I’ve found hugely unsatisfying. The potential of ‘a novel… with pictures!’ never seems completely realised. In fact, when I was younger, reading the Eighth Doctor DWM strips, I regarded them with a certain amount of contempt (‘how immature,’ etc – I was a bit precocious as a kid) – although I did still closely follow them, and was probably far more involved than I told myself. However, my reintroduction into the world of Doctor Who, in all its forms, has allowed my a bit of distance to realise what a great medium the strips are. Since then I’ve been dying for the Panini strip reprints, but none of them have, or are likely to best the Voyager graphic novel.

The artwork is immaculate, and looks absolutely stunning in crisp black and white – so much more atmospheric than the horrible colour job from the eighties. (Much as I (now) love Martin Geraghty’s Eighth Doctor stuff, it comes across as much more ‘by numbers’ than John Ridgway’s, here.) And the Voyager arc itself is an absolute masterpiece – grand, mythic, and dare I say illusorily dreamlike, it really puts to shame all the people who’ve praised the imaginative scope of Gridlock, for example. Well bollocks to that, and more besides! This is the real deal.

If only more of Doctor Who, in all its varied media, could be brave enough to embrace stories so huge and strange and fairytale. (And particularly nice it is too for such a story to feature the still-overlooked Sixth Doctor!)

In a way, the brilliance of the Parkhouse/Ridgway partnership has become a cliché, so no-one actually gives it any thought anymore. But, equally, that reputation is utterly deserved. The Tides of Time is clearly fabulous – all big, bold ideas (although, when grouped as a graphic novel by Panini, it is hampered by the changeable and varied quality of the art). The stories making up the Voyager saga (The Shape Shifter, Voyager, Polly the Glot, Once Upon a Time-Lord) on the other hand, stray into altogether darker, more mysterious waters (and are arguably even more inventive), helped no end by the idiosyncratic scratchy detail of Ridgway’s pencils.

It’s such an enormous shame that the comics always seem to be overlooked – I suppose partly because they so wilfully blaze their own trail, continuity-wise. If you can get over this though (and come on, lighten up; in fact, the sense that the strips have decided to do their own thing is one of their biggest assets as far as I’m concerned - these stories are like an intriguing sidestep), Voyager really does take the TARDIS into new realms – everything here is grounded in a magical, unpredictable reality, where events and situations are fluid and unpredictable. Nothing is literal; in a sense, it’s somewhat like the Victoriana dream-logic of The Ultimate Foe, but pushed much further.

Here we get a baroque automaton "inhabited by a living soul"; a corkscrew "Da Vinci original" helicopter; a metatextual Rupert the Bear/Tarzan-style sequence in Astrolabus’ domain; and the absolutely spine-tingling dream sequence where the Doctor is tied to the wheel of a galleon heading over the edge of the world… These bold visual conceits are matched by the mythic style of the text and dialogue. There’s a real grandeur to a lot of the text, which really elevates the stories; I particularly love the Doctor’s "'I am a lord of time!' I screamed. 'And I am a lord of LIFE!' he thundered in reply… And his words soared aloft and were one with the wind."

All in all, the Voyager stories are something else. Voyager itself is probably the best of the lot, combining the most beautiful images with fairytale text and Astrolabus’ nonsense-banter. This really is breathtaking; even just flicking through, the audaciousness not only of the images but of the sense of scale these stories have is completely captivating. It’s like when, as a kid, you can completely invest yourself in a story, become totally immersed (but without having to resort to Uncle Terrance’s old Targets).

However – I say all this, but unfortunately it’s not the full story; I can only echo the DWM review of this reprinting when I say the last third of this book is utter shite. Once Parkhouse departs at the end of Once Upon a Time-Lord, boy, do you feel the difference…

I can’t even be bothered to go into it, frankly: it’s all depressing superhero nobodies and plotless run-arounds. It also overuses the ‘cocktail bar… with aliens!’ approach; ie, recognisable human situations with exotic aliens thrown in - something the TV series’ budget fortunately couldn’t stretch to (witness the wannabe Star Wars cantina scene in Dragonfire). (Somehow, Parkhouse makes this approach work, arguably by approaching these situations in a largely whimsical way.) In addition, there’s a cack-handed re-introduction of Peri, which is at odds with and shows a lack of faith in the strip pursuing its own tangential approach. And on top of that, there are a few broad and severely unimaginative continuity references that had me cringing: for example, Davros and the ‘CyberEmperor’ (!) being invited to a galactic summit to defeat some Skeletor-type stormtroopers.

Nasty.

This unpleasantness is more than balanced out by the uncommon quality of the Voyager stories proper though.

It baffles me that the comics are so under-appreciated within fandom; I whole-heartedly recommend this compilation as a brilliant place to start. I suppose comics still have that slightly derogatory ‘for kids’ prejudice attached, but the very literary quality of the writing here, coupled with the stunningly memorable art, create something very special indeed (and of arguably a much higher quality than we’re used to in the majority of Doctor Who fiction, of whatever form). This is something special.

Adrian Salmon

I've always loved Adrian Salmon's work - it's so much more interesting and idiosyncratic than the majority of Doctor Who-related art or illustration. Honestly, there's only so many not-quite-photorealist portraits-on-a-starfield or crackling electicity one man can take.

Check out his blog here.

“I suppose I’ll have to drive you like a Grecian cur into the city… Come, dog!”

Review: THE MYTH MAKERS
Audio soundtrack of missing story, written by Donald Cotton, directed by Michael Leeston-Smith, 1965

The Myth Makers is one of those stories which, despite knowing what it’s about, I’ve never really heard much about… So it was a bit of a delight to find it’s a total gem.

I’m an enormous fan of Hartnell’s years, but I find that I can still be swayed by the general view that the stories were ‘a bit shoddy,’ ‘too slow,’ etc (despite the fact that I think, at its best, this period’s production values were at an all-time high compared to the majority of the later years, relatively speaking) – so it almost came as a (pleasant) surprise just how snappy this story is!

It's wonderful to hear a ‘comedy’ Doctor Who story that is genuinely funny – I love The Romans, but I wouldn’t describe it as pant-wettingly funny, as it is often portrayed. I don’t want to just list quotes, but, er, I think I’m going to. Paris is particularly good value for money – I love the re-imagining of a Trojan warrior as an inept Carry On imbecile; he reminded me of Hugo in The Vicar of Dibley, actually, crossed with David Hemmings’ Dildano in Barbarella (“I’ll put it round your secret neck”). I particularly like Paris’ “Now I suppose I’ll have to drive you like a Grecian cur into the city, won’t I… Come, dog!”

All the derogatory stuff about Cassandra was entertaining too (“Oh, go and feed the sacred snakes or something”). Her, “You’re not putting THAT in my temple!” of the TARDIS tickled me too.

Also: the comment about “galloping religious mania”;
“It seems there’s a man lurking behind that flaccid exterior after all!”;
“Catapults? Sounds like a vulgar oath to me.”

Not being particularly action-packed (although, thanks to the wordplay, it never drags either – if anything, four episodes felt too short), the story transfers wonderfully to audio, which is particularly nice as it emphasised the links between this and Marc Platt’s grown-up-Vicki Frostfire audio. I’m not particularly sold on the idea of the audio adventures, so I’ve never become very involved with Big Finish – well, I say ‘very’; Frostfire is the only one I’ve actually listened to. (Audio just seems like a slightly clumsy medium to me – compared to novels and televised stories, it has the worst of both worlds… But I digress.) I could really feel the links between young Vicki leaving the TARDIS here, and the older Vicki/Lady Cressida in the catacombs in the Companion Chronicles story. Maureen O’Brien even sounded exactly the same. Having listened to the audio first, there was a nice sense of continuity (not in the fan sense) between the two stories.

It’s also amazing how far Vicki has come since The Rescue. It’s often said that there’s little character development in the companions, so it’s wonderful that even one with relatively little status within fandom like Vicki really has matured by now – and she’s completely charming. Even her romance with Troilus is sweet and well played, and doesn’t become trite. Also a nice ending for her – I wasn’t convinced at first (it just seems as if she’s been forgotten), but her telling the Doctor that she has decided to leave off-screen is really effective; it fits with the frantic events of the Greek attack, and is slightly less 'literal' than the thinking that these scenes always need to be shown.

Whilst on the topic of companions: Katarina – what the hell?! I’ve previously listened to The Daleks’ Master Plan (ooh, I love a Doctor Who with honest-to-god grammar in the title…); I wasn’t expecting miracles from her debut (in fact, I’d forgotten about her until she randomly showed up), but I thought she might at least have some part to play here. Ah, well… she’ll soon be a space popsicle.

The other main thing that strikes me: Hartnell, wonderful as ever - but why has no-one ever really picked up more on the whole ‘the Doctor is responsible for the fall of Troy’ element?! I know he regrets giving the Greeks the idea for the horse once he’s actually in it, but it sounds like it’s motivated more by self-preservation than guilt at instigating a massacre! Very strange how sometimes the Doctor’ll emote for ages about one little character (or whatever… can’t think of an example off the top of my head. Erm, Lytton), and then doesn’t trouble himself about causing the fall of an entire city! Not to mention The Aztecs’ patented ‘messing around with history’ thing.

All in all, The Myth Makers is deeply underrated; it feels very effortless, loads of fun, but with a pleasingly dramatic ending, which stops it feeling too inconsequential.